


heart eyes

by bonrin



Series: ao no exorcist // heart eyes [1]
Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bisexual Male Character, Confessions, Fujoshis Don't Touch, Gay Male Character, Hotels, M/M, Motels, Pining, Road Trips, Slow Burn, Songfic, Trans Male Character, in a specific way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-09-18 03:57:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16987617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bonrin/pseuds/bonrin
Summary: It wasn’t uncommon for Okumura Rin to talk about Moriyama Shiemi. His brother had known her for a few years and once high school had started and he was forced to go, he met her too.Ryuuji just wasn’t sure what their relationship was specifically.- In which Suguro "Bon" Ryuuji takes such a long time to confess because god,why's it so hard?





	1. movies

**Author's Note:**

> [COIN - Heart Eyes](https://youtu.be/YVfOBMjVOjE)

It wasn’t uncommon for Okumura Rin to talk about Moriyama Shiemi. His brother had known her for a few years and once high school had started and he was forced to go, he met her too.

Ryuuji just wasn’t sure what their relationship was specifically.

Was he curious? Yeah.

Did he have a crush?

Yeah.

Just not on Moriyama.

Ryuuji was a weird teenager. He had an intimidating punk appearance; he had a lot of piercings (and was considering getting more) and he  _ used _ to have longer hair with a bleached blond streak in the middle (that Okumura would make fun of and call him “rooster head”), until he impulsively shaved it off and now his hair resembles something of an undercut. His personality didn’t match his appearance much, though. Yeah, he was blunt, but he wasn’t a delinquent. He actually cared about his grades and spent a lot of time keeping them up. He was the type of person to yell at you for walking on the wrong side of the hallway.

The only thing that made Ryuuji so different from the majority of his school is that he’s trans and gay.

He didn’t have a problem with it, he’d known he was trans for 5 years, since year 5 in primary school and gay for 2 years, since the end of his second year of junior high; and while internalized homophobia and transphobia did get to him sometimes, it was fine. He was a Monk, but Buddhism didn’t say much about it. He completely passed as a guy and didn’t get much dysphoria anymore. It was fine.

It’s just that his crush on Okumura got to him a lot.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Oi, Okumura!” Renzou said, running up to Okumura after his shift at the coffee shop.

“Hm?”

“Me an’ the guys are gonna go to the mall and watch a movie! Wanna come? We accidentally got four tickets,” Renzou said, Ryuuji and Konekomaru visible behind him.

“Hell yeah, dude!” Okumura said. “Lemme just ask my old man first.” The raven-haired teen continued, taking his phone out of his pocket.

Okumura might not have been a student before, but his brother Yukio was forcing him to go back to school, and after a month after it started he finally gave in. He originally just worked at the coffee shop near the school, but since then he’d gotten a shorter shift. Luckily it was Friday, though, so he had all weekend.

After quickly texting his adoptive father and him responding with an “Okay, just remember to be back by 10” he put his apron back in the staff room and walked to Ryuuji’s car.

“Shotgun!” Okumura yelled as they approached the parking lot behind the small cafe.

“Damn no fair, my jacket’s there! Bon, tell him I get to go shotgun!” Ren whined.

Ryuuji chuckled. “Whoever says shotgun, gets shotgun,” he said, swirling his keys around his finger. 

“But my jacket’s there!” 

“Just get it and go to the back. My car, my rules.”

“Who even let  _ you _ have a car? I thought gays couldn’t drive! You’re not even eighteen yet, you're sixteen! That’s illegal! You should’ve gotten a motorcycle instead!”

Ryuuji turned around and punched Shima in the arm. “OW,” he yelled.

“Shut up,” Ryuuji said, scowling. He wasn't irritated because Ren said he was gay, he was very out and open about it. But he was irritated because he's a sixteen-year-old gay who can drive, god dammit.  _ A car’s more convenient than a motorcycle! _

“But-”

“Shut up or you’ll have to pay for gas and everyone’s snacks.”

He opened his mouth and raised his finger to protest, but that got him to shut up.

Okumura cackled as he opened the door to the passenger side and sat down. “Hey, now that I get shotgun, I get the aux cord too, right?”

Ryuuji sighed. “Sure, just don’t play any of that mainstream pop shit, I don’t like that stuff,” he said as he started the car.

“What if it’s an American alt-indie band?” Okumura asked, plugging the aux cord into his phone and looking through YouTube. “I usually listen to rock but I’m in a mood.”

“That’s trash,” the pinket said from the backseat.

“I thought Bon told you to shut up,” Koneko said, finally speaking up since he’d been quiet the entire time.

“That’s fine.” The brunet said, turning his head back to see if any cars were behind while he got out of the parking spot. “Indie’s not bad. I listen to it sometimes since it's historically tied to punk,” he turned his head back to the front as he left the parking lot.

“Hell yeah!” Okumura said, tapping a video.

 

_ I saw you walking _

_ Under a parkway sign with a stranger _

_ Yeah, so unaware of danger _

_ That’s her _

_ Not like the others _

_ A rose-colored dream when she’s loving you _

_ With a cartwheel dream never running out of room _

 

Ryuuji had rolled down the window and rested his arm. Even if he was focusing on the road, he found himself listening and tapping his fingers to the beat on the door.

 

_ What’s another night out? _

_ What’s another night out? _

_ Well, call it what you want _

_ But you go, and you go, and you go, and you go _

 

“Oi, this is catchy,” Ryuuji said, despite only understanding some of the lyrics. He found his heart leaping to his throat. He didn’t compliment often, and this was  _ Okumura’s _ music taste. “What’s it called?”

“Heart Eyes by COIN! I’ll send you the link later,” Okumura said excitedly. “This band’s the only exclusion I make from listening to rock, honestly. They’re pretty good, even if it’s in English. I found this band while I was in America last summer, another one of their songs was playing on the radio in some shop last year when I was in, uh, Tennessee, I think? The entire album has a lot of meaning to it. I looked it up.”

“I still think it’s trash,” Ren said, poking his head to the front. “You don’t even remember the prefecture name? Also pass me my jacket, you probably stepped on it.”

“It’s not trash!” Okumura yelled. “It’s not a prefecture, it’s a state, and I didn’t forget its name! It’s just hard to read! And I didn’t step on your jacket! Here you-” he grabbed the jacket and threw it at Ren’s face,  _ “-go! _ ”

Ryuuji snickered. Koneko did too, but stopped as he spoke up again. “Well I think it’s pretty good. I find it interesting how you know a lot about it, Okumura.”

“Aw, thanks Konekomaru!” Okumura said, rubbing the back of his neck.

The rest of the song played and it’d gotten stuck in Ryuuji’s head, even when his friend played other music by the same band. It was all good music, but he just had the first stuck in his head.

After a few songs the four arrived to the mall. As they walked in, Ryuuji spoke up. “We’ve got an hour before the movie starts,” he said. “We should to go a few stores.”

“I’m hungry. Someone come get food with me, I want sukiyaki,” Ren said, tying his jacket around his waist.

“Well I’m gonna go buy some earrings, suit yourself,” Ryuuji said, shoving his hands into his pockets and walking away. “Meet back in front of the movie theater at 6.”

“Oh! I’ll go with you, Suguro-san! I need new earbuds anyway, and Usamaro wants a stylus for his tablet,” Okumura said, speedwalking behind him. “See you two later!” he turned his head and waved at his friends.

Koneko sighed. “I’m stuck with you, aren’t I?”

Ren laughed. “Yup! Let’s go eat!”

Ryuuji didn’t expect Okumura to tag along with him getting  _ earrings, _ but he didn’t mind. He was actually kind of glad, but this was going to be hard because this was the guy he was crushing on, for fucks sake.  _ It’s fine, Ryuuji, ignore the heat going up your face and the fluttering of your stomach like you always do when Okumura’s around. _

Okumura started small talk while he and Ryuuji walked to the store. “You’re getting new earrings?” he asked.

“Yeah, a few,” Ryuuji answered.

“Cool,” Okumura said with a smile. “I think punk stuff looks cool. Even if you might not act like one,” he stretched his arms behind his back and laughed.

_ “Oi,” _ Ryuuji said boldly, but laughed too. He ignored how his heartbeat picked up at his best friend’s laugh. “I’m very punk, thank you very much.”

“Yeah, sure you are with that personality of yours!”

“What? What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“I’m just saying you might be a little too nice, Suguro-san!”

“I’m not nice!”

“I said a little!”

The two had to stop next to the escalators because they were laughing so hard. “Holy shit, how are we friends?” Ryuuji said, falling and sitting on the floor and grabbing his stomach with one hand and his other hand on the wall.

“I dunno,” Okumura said, on his knees and clutching his stomach, but he did know. “I work at the cafe and when I started school a month after it started you quite literally kicked my ass in P.E. class during soccer.” The teen had finally calmed down from his laughing fit.

“Oh damn, don’t remind me,” Ryuuji wheezed out and shut his eyes.

Okumura stood back up when Ryuuji finally calmed down and offered his hand to help him off the floor. Trying his hardest to ignore the feeling in his chest, he grabbed Okumura’s hand and hoisted himself up, but weirdly enough he didn’t need to because Okumura pulled him up  _ himself. _

Ryuuji tried ignoring the feeling in his chest when  _ that _ happened, too.

“Okay, let’s go to the second floor to that store now,” Ryuuji mumbled, looking away.

Okumura had a clueless expression but brushed it off. The two walked to the store and after a while of looking, Okumura found a pair of blue earbuds and a small mobile device stylus.

The two had been looking at the earring displays when Okumura spoke up. “Hey, Suguro-san, look, it's Shiemi!” he said, vaguely pointing. “Oi! Shiemi!”

The girl, who'd been looking at the earring displays as well, turned at the sound of her name. “Oh! Hi, Rin! Hi, Suguro-san!”

“Hey, what's a person like you doing here? I didn't know you’d be someone to come to stores like these,” Ryuuji said.

“Oh! I don't usually come here, actually. I'm here with Kamiki-san,” she said, waving her hands and shaking her head.

“Hm? I didn't know you two hung out together,” Okumura pointed out. “Hey, now that you're here, do you wanna come to the movies? I came with Suguro-san, Shima and Konekomaru, but you guys can come too if you wanna! It's in like, forty minutes!”

“Oh! I would but Kamiki-san and I have plans already! Thank you for the invite, though!”

“Hey, speaking of Kamiki, where even is she? Did she just leave you here?” Ryuuji asked.

“She's over there looking at the chokers,” Moriyama signalled to another rack.

“Wow, Izumo really is goth,” Okumura mumbled. “Shima owes me ¥1000.”

Right as he said that, Kamiki walked over to Moriyama. “I'm done, are you getting anything or should we go pay?” she asked, only noticing the other two teens after she finished her sentence. “Oh, it's you guys.”

“Hey, what's that s'posed to mean?” The taller one commented.

“Ah! I'm not getting anything, we can go pay!” Moriyama said happily. “See you, Rin! See you, Suguro-san!”

The four teens paid for their things and went their separate ways.

“You wanna eat something before we go to the movie? I think Shima and Konekomaru are at the food court,” Okumura asked, putting the plastic bag around his arm instead of holding it in his hand and crossing his arms behind his back, the bag moving from side to side as he walked.

“Yeah, sure, I'm craving mochi anyway,” Ryuuji said.

_ “Mochi? You still sure you’re a punk guy? _ ” Okumura whispered.

_ “Oi.” _

“Huh? I didn't say anything.” Okumura said with a fake-innocent smile, lifting his hand up to his chin like an L.

“Sure ya didn't,” Ryuuji said with a chuckle.

They passed by a few stores and there was one point where Okumura stopped walking. Ryuuji stopped a few steps ahead.

“Why'd ya stop walkin’?” He asked.

Okumura shut his eyes, shook his head and kept walking. “No, nothing. Jus’ got distracted by the models on a display picture.”

“You… you got distracted by the models?”

“Yes! It was both a guy and a girl so if you didn't say anything I would've stayed there.”

“Damn.”

“I know! It's stupid! I'm a chaotic dumbass disaster bi!!” Okumura kept shaking his head.

“That’s all three alignments on the chart…” the other mumbled. “But it's not stupid! I get it. I see hot guys all the time,” Ryuuji said and soon after he did he realized what he hinted at. “Actually, nevermind, forget I said anything. Let's go get mochi.”

After eating mochi and running into Renzou and Koneko in the food court, they decided to go to the movie theater.

“Alright! I'm so ready to get a large bucket of popcorn!” Okumura said excitedly.

“You're paying for your own food,” Ren said matter-of-factly.

“Who cares, it's  _ my _ food,” Okumura said, pouting and crossing his arms.

They got their pre-paid tickets and walked to the concessions. In the line, Okumura checked his wallet again.

“Nooo! God dammit, I only have eighty cents left,” the raven-haired teen said, slightly panicking.

“Oh, I'll pay for it then,” Ryuuji said stoically, crimson dusting his face.

“No! It's fine, I'm not that hungry anyway.”

“Okumura, have you eaten a proper meal today? You don’t eat breakfast because you get late, you don’t eat the school lunch for some reason and you said you forgot to make food for yourself last night, you didn't go home right away after getting out of school because you had to go to work, and you ate like, four balls of mochi. Let me pay for your food,” Ryuuji said, pointing out each situation on his fingers.

“Hhggghhhh okay, fine! Just let me know how much it is so I can pay you back.”

“Really dude? It's food. You shouldn't have to pay to live. It’s the least I can do.”

“ _ Heeeey, _ why is Bon paying for  _ Okumura's _ snacks? Pay for  _ my _ snacks, Bon!” Ren whined.

“Shima-san, be quiet, you know why,” Koneko whispered.

Ryuuji shot the two of them a glare.

During the movie, Okumura and Ryuuji sat next to each other, sharing a large bucket of popcorn.

After the movie, Ryuuji took each friend back to their homes and everyone said their goodbyes.

That night, Ryuuji was laying in bed thinking about how the day went and stopped mid-thought when he remembered that he paid for Okumura's food.

He reversed his thoughts and replayed the day in his head. Okumura hanging out with Ryuuji, the way the two of them laughed so hard, shopping together, eating together, paying for Okumura’s food at the movies.

_ Shit.  _

_ That seemed a lot like a date. _

He reddened up at the thought.

“Why does life hate gays,” Ryuuji whimpered, grabbing his face and curling up into fetal position, the blanket under him moving with him.

His phone dinged and turned on from his bedside dresser, showing he’d gotten a text message. He turned around and grabbed the small object and typed in his passcode (that totally wasn’t Okumura’s birthday). He opened the messaging app, seeing it was from Okumura. He clicked on the chat.

It was a YouTube link.

**_Okumura: hey suguro!! heres the link i told you i’d send of the song from today!! (・ω・)_ **

Ryuuji genuinely smiled to himself, his face tinting with rose again.


	2. swingsets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was 4am and Ryuuji couldn’t stop thinking about his crush.
> 
> It wasn’t like he didn’t realize he could date Okumura, because he damn knew that he could. Hell, when the shorter teen came out to him as trans and bi a while after they met, the other was ecstatic to have yet another gay friend besides Renzou and Koneko.
> 
> It’s just that right now, Okumura seemed to be focused on Moriyama.

No, Ryuuji did  _ not _ make a playlist of music that reminded him of Okumura the moment he woke up the next morning, what are you talking about? And no, he didn’t start it out with  _ that _ song,  _ definitely not. _

_ Stop yourself before you regret this crush, Ryuuji,  _ he thought.

Ryuuji sat up from his bed.

_ Stop yourself. _

  
  


* * *

  
  


Ryuuji caught himself tapping his pen to the rhythm of the song in class on Monday. He’d listened to it more and a few other songs from the band, but he focused on the one song specifically.

At lunch, he went to his usual table and Okumura greeted him and gave him some food like he usually did.

The punk teen started eating and when he did, he ended up humming the tune to  _ the song _ louder than he thought he was.

“Oh! You’re humming the song I played in the car last week, right?” Okumura pointed out, mid-chew.

Ryuuji’s looked up from his food. “Uh, yeah,” he said after swallowing his food.

“A punk rock guy humming an  _ indie song? _ ” Renzou said as he sat down.

“Hey, punk and indie have a tied! History! They come from the same roots!” Ryuuji said, clenching his fist.

“Eh, whatever, I shouldn't really say anything since you listen to Babymetal, too,” Ren said, starting to eat.

“Are you fucking serious? Babymetal is  _ good. _ I didn't ask for a critique of my music taste, especially from someone who listens to  _ dubstep.” _

“What!”

“Calm down, guys…” Konekomaru mumbled.

They ate, the day passed by, the week passed by and soon enough it was Friday again.

It was 4am and Ryuuji couldn’t stop thinking about his crush.

It wasn’t like he didn’t realize he could date Okumura, because he damn knew that he could. Hell, when the shorter teen came out to him as trans and bi a while after they met, the other was ecstatic to have yet another gay friend besides Renzou and Koneko.

It’s just that right now, Okumura seemed to be focused on Moriyama.

Ryuuji appreciated Moriyama, he really did. She was extremely sweet and he would definitely kill for her. She had no wrong in any of this, he just  _ really liked Okumura, _ and Okumura seemed to like  _ Moriyama. _

He had to get some sleep, but he tossed and turned around so much and the feeling of the bedsheets and blankets started to feel extremely bad and he couldn’t stand it, so at 5am, he got up from bed and started to go for a run and get ready for school. He got an hour and a half less than usual of sleep.

In the morning, as he drove by the bus stop, he saw Okumura and his twin brother talking to Moriyama.

He was driving Koneko and Ren to school so didn’t bother with offering them a ride since his car was for five people, including the driver, and that would’ve been six.

At lunch, he looked at Okumura in the lunch line since he forgot to make food again, talking to Moriyama, the two of them laughing.

The look became longing.

 

 

* * *

  
  


Early Saturday morning, the same thing happened. He couldn’t sleep and it was 4am again, and this time instead of staying in bed he went and got up, threw on a hoodie over the undershirt he wore to sleep, changed from gym shorts to sweatpants, and drove to the nearby park.

When he parked his car, it was the only one there, but he didn’t notice the black bicycle set on the small bike rack.

He walked towards the swingset and he was surprised to see someone already there. When he got closer, he would’ve turned around if the other person didn’t turn their head and see him.

“Suguro-san? What are you- why are you out this early?”

_ Speak of the devil. _

“I should be asking you that, Okumura,” Ryuuji said, his heart beating at a speed that was probably unhealthy. When he walked over and sat down on the other swing, it felt like it’d gotten faster. “What if I was a murderer or something?”

“Hah,” Okumura grunted, and turned his face to look forward at the rest of the playground. “I was just thinking.”

“You? Thinking? Damn,” Ryuuji joked.

_ “Oi,”  _ Okumura said boldly, similar to how Ryuuji had said it the other week at the mall.

“Okay, no, I'm kidding. I'm here to think too. Continue.”

He stayed quiet for a moment, looking down and pursing his lips for a moment, like he'd been trying to find the right words. Ryuuji didn’t budge.

It was a quiet morning, besides the occasional car passing by, the sound of the creaky, old swingset and the cicadas buzzing due to it being late spring. It was nearing 4:30am.

“I think… I like someone,” Okumura finally said, slowly, after a few minutes of silence.

Ryuuji's heart ran around in his chest. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Okumura said, kicking the dirt. “I just… won't say who it is for now. But I feel like even though I have a chance of dating them, I still can't, somehow.”

He was talking about Moriyama.

Nonetheless, Ryuuji spoke.

“I know how that feels,” he empathized.

“Really?” Okumura said, crossing his arms, expression plain, but with a hint of genuinity. “You said you're here to think too, right? Is that what this is about?”

“I-” The brunet stopped and took a deep breath. “Y-Yeah,” he stammered.

“Oh, really?” the other repeated. Raising an eyebrow but expression not changing, he asked, “Who is it?”

“Hey, I'm not telling either!” Ryuuji yelled in a panic.

“Nah, I'm just kidding.” Okumura said, looking at the ground, it seeming like he was pondering a little. “Really though, it's more or less the same situation, right?” he said, yet not insisting. “We can go through this thing together, whatever it is,” he continued, kicking the dirt again. He stood up, but didn't walk away just yet.

He grinned. “And hey, no matter who it is, you can get the courage to ask them out, Suguro-san!”

Ryuuji sighed, ignoring the blush creeping his cheeks for what felt was the millionth time. “Dude, just, drop the honorific. We’re friends.”

He couldn’t help but be a little disappointed saying that last statement.

Okumura’s smile stayed, but his face had a tint of surprise. “Oh? Really?”

Ryuuji blushed, but smiled. “Yeah. But hey, same to you, Okumura. You can build up that courage, too. I know you can.”

Okumura’s grin turned into a softer smile. “See ya, Suguro.”

Ryuuji felt a weird relief hearing himself being referred to less formally. “See ya.”

The raven teen walked away, back towards where Ryuuji came from. It wasn’t far, so Ryuuji watched him get on his bike, and watched him until he turned the corner and was no longer visible. After he was gone, Ryuuji ran his hand through his hair, feeling the shaved sides.

He thought of asking Okumura out. He really did.

But now he knew Okumura wouldn’t say yes.

At 5am, he walked back to his car and drove back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was so sad im sorry but i PROMISE the next one is happier
> 
> i feel like it's so funny how i make devil puns w/ rin when this is a modern highschool au


	3. roadtrips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So both of you have plans and can’t go on this road trip with me. My two childhood friends can’t go on a road trip with me,” Ryuuji said.
> 
> “Oh c’mon Bon, maybe some of our other friends can go with you? Hey, it’d be a good chance to hang out with Okumura,” Renzou said, raising an eyebrow and smirking.

A few weeks passed by, and Ryuuji still didn’t do anything about his feelings for Okumura.

But he didn’t see any change between Okumura and Moriyama, either.

It was now June and summer break was nearing.

Renzou had been pestering him about going back and visiting Kyoto for vacation since their families had moved to Tokyo, even though he knew there was no point because, where the hell would they stay? He wasn’t paying for any goddamn hotel, and they had nothing to do over there. (They really did, though, and Ryuuji _would_ pay for a hotel, and he knew exactly which inn it would be, too.)

Ryuuji _did_ think about going on a road trip around a few prefectures or something, but at the same time he didn’t wanna bother. Maybe he’d just stay here this year, he hadn’t been in Tokyo for that long and he hadn’t had much time to look around since school started, despite it have been four months since he moved here with his own and his two childhood friends’ families. It was a little stupid.

Hey, Okumura was a local, why not hang out with him?

Yeah, maybe. He might even fester up the courage to ask him out at this point.

He was _really_ considering it at this point.

The thing was, he never dated anyone before, and it was frankly a little embarrassing. He didn’t have experience with it, what the hell would he say? “Hey, I’m gay for you and it’s been bothering me for months”?

Yeah, no. He knew that wasn’t how you ask people out, but the thought was both funny and miserable.

What would _Okumura_ say if he asked him out?

Maybe he just might confess.

He would think about waiting, but he’s been waiting for too long. There’d been _way_ too many situations where he was on the verge of confessing but just _didn’t._

The last time it happened was two days ago. They’d found themselves hanging out again a few hours after school let out, at the same park the two’d found each other in at four in the morning a month before, sitting on the same swingset, talking about dumb things having to do with school and their friends and what they’d do over summer break.

They’d been calming down from a soft laughter when Ryuuji almost said it.

“Hey, Okumura?” He’d said, almost out of nowhere.

“Hm?” Okumura’s sapphire iris’ seemingly lightened up a little at the mention of his name so seriously after a fun moment.

“I-” Ryuuji started, but stopped. He pursed his lips. “No, nevermind. It’s nothing.”

“Oh, alright,” Okumura said, curiosity lingering for a few seconds before he continued what he’d been talking about before.

This was getting a little hopeless.

 

* * *

 

“What?!”

“Yeah, I’m sorry Bon… maybe Shima can go with you, though?”

“Nope, I can’t either. My parents are making me go to some camp even though I wanted to go visit Kyoto, so I’m out of luck too.”

“So both of you have plans and can’t go on this road trip with me. My two childhood friends can’t go on a road trip with me,” Ryuuji said.

“Oh c’mon Bon, maybe some of our other friends can go with you? Hey, it’d be a good chance to hang out with Okumura,” Renzou said, raising an eyebrow and smirking.

“As much as I hate it you’re right, I haven’t even done anything about this crush,” Ryuuji whined out, closing his eyes and resting his elbows on the table, head in hands, as exaggerated as it looked.

“You gotta do something about it, man. You can’t pine forever,” Renzou pointed out.

“Hey, you’re not allowed to say that as a bi guy who can’t get a guy _or_ a girl,” Ryuuji said, not moving from his current position.

“Oh come on! I’m trying to give you advice, I didn’t ask for a callout post!”

“You can’t give advice either way ‘cause you don’t have any experience!”

“C-Calm down guys,” Koneko said a little nervously.

The three were studying in Renzou’s kitchen for a final they had in a class together, but at this point they’d finished and were talking about their upcoming vacation.

Renzou sighed. “It’s been months though, I’m not kidding at this point, you _gotta_ do something.”

“I know,” Ryuuji said, sadly. “I might ask him if he has plans for the summer.”

“And _when_ do you plan on doing that?”

“Uh.”

“Bon! Oh my god! Just ask him tomorrow!”

“Okay, fine!”

 

* * *

 

 

The next day during lunch, Ryuuji actually did it.

“Hey, Okumura,” he said, when he finished his food.

Okumura looked up from his phone. “Yeah?”

“You got any plans for break?” Ryuuji said, mentally tensing up.

Okumura thought for a moment, counting on his fingers, grinning when he realized he didn’t. “Nope!”

“Hell, wanna go on a road trip with me? Shima and Konekomaru can’t, they’ve got plans.”

Okumura looked relieved. “Oh I’m so fucking glad you asked, Yukio and the old man were gonna make me stay home and do community service unless a friend asked if I wanted to do anything.”

“Alright! I’ll text you the plans when I’ve got everything down since I only have a few things right now.”

“Gotcha!”

When Ryuuji got home that day, he flopped onto his bed with the _dopiest_ smile.

He couldn’t stop thinking about Okumura. The way he seemed so excited, the way his eyes lit up. He was going to spend days with his crush this summer.

He really had to do something about it.

 

 

* * *

 

The rest of the month passed quickly and break started. It was about five in the afternoon on the third day of vacation when Ryuuji drove to the Monastery where Okumura lived. He parked next to the sidewalk, and when he went to knock on the door he was greeted by Okumura’s adoptive father.

“Oh, welcome! Ryuuji, right? Rin has talked a lot about you! Come in, Yukio made matcha tea!”

Ryuuji heard a few noises coming from inside, someone yelling 'move, Usamaro, leave Kuro alone, do NOT feed him tiny Legos,’ and after a moment Okumura pushed his dad to the side. “HI SUGURO!”

“Hi Father Fujimoto, hey Okumura,” Ryuuji said, almost uncharacteristically giggling. “You ready for this road trip?”

“Hell yeah I am! Got my backpack and everything!”

“Guess we'll get going then? Sorry I won't be able to come in for tea, Father Fujimoto, but tell your other sons I said hi,” Ryuuji said, trying to be as polite as possible despite not having much experience with talking to a friend's parents besides Renzou's.

After a quick goodbye, the two went to Ryuuji's car and after a few minutes of driving, Ryuuji broke the silence at a stoplight.

“Hey, Okumura-”

“Rin,” the teen interrupted.

Ryuuji blushed. He was offering first name basis?

“Okay, _Rin,”_ he continued, his heart speeding up, trying his hardest not to smile like an idiot, _“_ do you want the aux cord?” he said, feeling heat rise up to his face even more.

“Sure,” Rin said, reaching for the cable and connecting it to his phone. “Thanks, Suguro.”

“Ryuuji,” the older teen said. “It'd only be fair if you got to call me by first name too, wouldn't it?”

Rin offered a smile. “Alright. Thanks, _Ryuuji.”_ He said, chuckling a little while he said his friend's name.

Ryuuji _swore_ he saw the slightest tint of pink on his crush's face but brushed it off. _You're imagining things, Ryuuji._

However, Ryuuji started feeling a little flustered himself, but ignored it like he always did.

The light turned green and Ryuuji stepped on the gas pedal. There was now a comfortable silence between the two, the only noise coming from the car's radio, and Ryuuji realized Rin was playing the same song from the day at the mall.

 

_One, two, three_

_You're killing me_

_An American dream_

_But you're mine_

 

The punk found himself tapping his fingers to the beat on the steering wheel, just like he had a million times before.

 

_Aw, baby_

_Hurry over with a heartbreak kiss_

_I don't really wanna fight like this_

_Oh, not tonight_

 

Rin started singing, his English being a little more fluent than Ryuuji thought it would be.

 

_What's another night out?_

_What's another night out?_

_Well, call it what you want_

_But you go, and you go, and you go, and you go_

 

They reached the outskirts of the city, and Ryuuji rolled the window down, letting the wind hit his face. It messed up his hair a little but he didn't care.

Rin rolled down the window on his side, too, and Ryuuji couldn't help but appreciate the way the wind hit his hair. It was almost 6pm and the sun had started to go down but wasn't setting quite yet, one could consider it golden hour; Ryuuji really liked that.

He was excited for what this road trip would bring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shirou And Usamaro Are Alive And Theyre All Family Because I Do What I Want.
> 
> jokes aside, merry christmas and happy holidays! you guys get a chapter today! chapter 4 will come on friday as usual  
> i posted this while listening to [the mcr cover of all i want for christmas](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qy9UsKiYqoc).


	4. pools

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why do we have to stop at McDonald’s? Do you not have any _standards_ , Ryuuji?!” Rin practically yelled as they got out of the car and walked inside.  
> “Yes I have standards, but we’re on a budget. I promise you we’ll find you a kitchen soon. I’ll look for some place to stay online while we eat,” Ryuuji said, stretching his arms upwards.

They stopped at a hotel with a pool just out of the town for the night, which was Rin's idea. It surprisingly wasn't super expensive and both of them were able to pitch in and pay together. It was about 7pm now.

Rin was laying on his stomach on one of the twin beds and Ryuuji was sitting cross-legged on the other, his back on the headboard. Both of them were on their phones, scrolling through social media, already seeing some of their friends on their own vacations.

“Hey, look, Shiemi and Izumo hung out yesterday,” Rin said, sending the Instagram post by Izumo to Ryuuji.

Ryuuji mumbled a 'that’s cool’ and turned his phone off and put it on the bedside table next to him. “I'm bored, we should go do something. Wanna go to the pool?”

“Yeah! I'm gonna go put my swimsuit on, gimme a sec,” he said and fished through his backpack. 

Rin went to the bathroom and came out with his swimsuit and a white undershirt, a nude-colored swim binder visible if you squinted.

Ryuuji went into the bathroom after Rin finished and changed into his swim trunks, leaving his shirt on. He'll take it off later.

The teens grabbed their towels, put on their sandals and walked downstairs and outside to the pool. It was a small hotel, so there was only two girls who looked around the same age as them there, and it was pretty peaceful overwall. After they put their stuff on a chair, Ryuuji took off his shirt and instinctively rubbed a little at the scars on his chest.

“I wish I could have top surgery, you're lucky your parents let you have it at 16,” Rin said. “I just have to deal with binders.”

“Pfft, yeah, I had to fly to  _ Thailand _ to get it done. I feel bad for wasting so much of my parents' money, even if I used some of my own. Really fucking worth it, though,” he started taking his many piercings off and put them with his towel.

Rin took the undershirt off and threw it onto the chair on top of his towel. He backed up a few steps, and ran and jumped into the pool.

“Cannonball!”

Ryuuji was, unfortunately, only two feet away from the pool and got splashed.

“Dude!”

Rin came up from under the water, hair completely drenched. He moved his bangs back. “Dammit, Ryuuji, do you still have that hair clip?” A now completely-wet Rin asked, swimming towards the edge of the pool that Ryuuji was standing at.

Ryuuji reached into his pocket and took out said hair clip. “Yeah, I knew you'd forget it. Here.” He squatted down and extended his arm to hand it to him. Rin grabbed it and put it on, but Ryuuji didn't expect what happened next.

Rin grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into the pool, and Ryuuji was lucky he inhaled before he did. He fell under the water but quickly rushed back up to the surface, Rin following seconds after. They stared at each other in their completely drenched state with wide-eyes and after a few seconds, they went  _ ballistic _ and started cracking up.

They calmed down and started talking while floating in the water for a bit, and the other two girls who had been there sat at the edge of the pool, minding their own business. After half an hour the girls left, and the boys stayed for another half hour after that.

“Hey, wanna race a few laps?” Rin asked.

“I'd say yes if you weren't wearing a binder,” Ryuuji said.

“Oh, come on!”

“Dude, I swam laps in a binder once. It wasn't a swim binder either. Big mistake,” Ryuuji pointed out, crossing his arms under the water.

“Damn, I wish this place at least had a waterslide or a Jacuzzi or something. This is getting boring.”

“Fuck it, then. Let's go back to the room.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


Back in the room, Rin and Ryuuji are both sitting on the latter teen's bed, and Ryuuji ignores the warm feeling as his right leg is pressed against Rin's left. He shows him the Google Maps app on his phone, planning out where they'll be driving the next day and which tourist trap they'll go to, and checking out any inns or motels or hotels available for the next night online. After about an hour it's now 9pm, the sun's set already and the sky's vaguely tinted purple-pink at the horizon, and they decide to call it a night since they'd be waking up early tomorrow morning, which Rin wasn't used to at all.

Ryuuji gets up to turn off the light and when he does, he gets in bed. Before he lays down properly, Rin says, “Hey,” he stammers a little before continuing, “uh, Ryuuji?”

Ryuuji turns his head in Rin's direction. “Yeah?”

“I,” he starts. “Nevermind.”

“Okay,” he says.

Ryuuji falls asleep wondering what that was about.

  
  


* * *

  
  


They get up at about 8 the next morning and Ryuuji has to shake Rin awake. Rin mumbles a 'noo, not the shaarks, nooo, where's my swooord,’ which causes Ryuuji to crack up and hold himself up with his hand on the wall and other hand grabbing his side, which wakes Rin, getting him confused as to why it's so early and  _ Ryuuji why are you laughing so hard why are you on the floor. _

After Rin wakes up properly they get ready and they spend a few minutes with the 'no, Rin, do  _ not _ wear your binder in a five hour car ride in the summer, no one's gonna notice, I'll be the only person seeing you, just wear a really baggy shirt, you’ll be okay,’ argument, they leave the hotel at 9 and drive for three hours before getting to a pit stop at a weirdly old-looking but decent gas station.

“God, I wish gas stations had like, cookable food, I'm dying, I gotta cook somethin’,” Rin whined, grabbing a box of strawberry Pocky.

“Hey, don't worry, we'll find a kitchen somewhere soon,” Ryuuji said in a reaffirming way. “We just gotta stick to microwavables and fast food for now.”

They went back into the car and after a while of driving, Rin had his camera out and was now taking pictures of just about anything he saw.

“What are you doing,” Ryuuji said with a snicker, only glancing to the side once as Rin held up the camera in his direction.

“Say hi, Ryuuji,” Rin said, trying to hide a giggle.

“Are you recording?”

“Maybe.”

Ryuuji rolled his eyes and smiled, continuing the drive.

They talked and Rin stopped recording after fifteen minutes, saving space so he could take more pictures during the whole trip. They were planning to stay on this road trip for two weeks, so they were basically rounding almost half of the small country.

It was something Ryuuji had wanted to do for a long time and he was glad he was be able to do it with his best friend. Rin took many pictures of the scenery as Ryuuji drove. The two of them were able to enjoy it while mindlessly listening to the mixture of punk, metal and rock music playing on the radio, with the exception of COIN, the American alternative indie band that Rin had introduced Ryuuji to months before. The early July smothers them with heat when the windows are up so they roll them down, letting the wind hit their faces. After about another hour of driving, they stopped in a small town to eat at a McDonald’s.

“Why do we have to stop at McDonald’s? Do you not have any  _ standards,  _ Ryuuji?!” Rin practically yelled as they got out of the car and walked inside.

“Yes I have standards, but we’re on a budget. I promise you we’ll find you a kitchen soon. I’ll look for some place to stay online while we eat,” Ryuuji said, stretching his arms upwards.

They ordered their food and got it only a few minutes after they did, sat down and after mumbling a quick ‘Itadakimasu’ they started eating. Ryuuji took out his phone and looked for places to sleep nearby, maybe in the town or in the outskirts of it at the least.

“See, there’s a motel a few towns away, maybe three hours,” he says with a fry sticking out of the corner of his mouth, turning his phone to the side a little so Rin can see. “It says the room has a gas stove and a fridge. Can you work with that?”

“Oh, definitely! Is there any markets or anything nearby? I could probably make stir fry tonight if I can find the ingredients.”

“Uuh, lemme see,” Ryuuji said and turned his phone back towards himself. He typed in ‘markets near me’ and a few results showed up.

“There’s a food market in the same town, we can probably go before we get to the motel?”

“Okay! That’s good!”

They finish eating and get in the car.

“Man, I feel bad for not knowing how to drive, you have to do it all day,” Rin said with a somewhat angry sigh, but it being directed at himself. He buckles up and crosses his arms, leaning his back on the seat and bouncing once before he settles.

“Don’t worry about it man, I’m not even doing this legally, remember?” Ryuuji said as he started the car, and he rolled down the window again. “There’s a reason we’re staying places overnight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trans rights! and yes those 2 girls were lesbians  
> also please note that stuff about top surgery at age 16 really depends on where you live and stuff and i wasn't aiming for bon's experience w/ it to be entirely realistic! im having fun and thats it
> 
> chapter 5 will be posted next friday as usual!


	5. golden hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Golden hour calmed them down. Like the morning a month before when they’d found each other at 4am, it was quiet, kind of in a déjà vu way. There was no people despite it being halfway through six in the afternoon in July, and the only sounds came from the cicadas buzzing from the trees and the squirrels rustling in the grass, looking for food. Rin grabbed a piece of bread from his sandwich and threw it over at a squirrel that was a few feet away from the swingset.

They’re eating Rin’s stir fry in the motel, four hours later. It's 3pm.

“Man, I don’t know  _ how  _ you can make such good stir fry with such cheap ingredients,” Ryuuji mutters around the food. “Wasn’t all this like, ¥800?”

“Well, a magician never reveals his secrets,” Rin says, pointing his chopsticks towards Ryuuji and smirking proudly. “It actually depends on how you cook it,” he mumbles, looking back down at his food. “It’s so simple it’s shitty.”

Ryuuji looks up from his food and swallows the mouthful, raises an eyebrow. “ _ Hey, _ your food is  _ not _ shitty, we’re not doing this. Didn’t you wanna be a chef?”

“Well, yeah, but-”

“No buts. Your food’s good. I can drive but I can’t make something as good as  _ this,  _ even with  _ expensive  _ ingredients.”

“Don’t praise me while degrading yourself, man! It’ll make me feel worse!”

“Okay, okay. I’m gonna go take a shower.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


The shower’s shitty.

The water’s too cold, they don’t even have the little soaps you can steal and the pressure’s too low. There's a yellow stain on the wall and Ryuuji can't tell what it came from. There's brown, dry mold on the ceiling (that looks like it’s been there for a long time) from people using all the hot water up and not turning on the fan.

Ryuuji changes in the bathroom but doesn't bother with a shirt. Rin's sitting on his bed, on a call with someone on speaker.

“Hey, hey, Usamaro! Ryuuji's here! Say hi!” he says, grabbing the phone from where it was on the bed and holding it up.

_ “HIIIIII!!” _ The four-year-old yelled through the phone. It sounded staticky.

“Hey there,” Ryuuji says, chuckling, putting the towel on his head and drying his hair.

_ “Rin, you better be back soon!! I'm hungry and nee-san's and dad's food is so bad!! We had to eat INSTANT RAMEN today!!” _ the kid complained.

“Aw, I'm sorry Usamaro but it's only been two days and I'm on this trip for two weeks, remember? But don't worry! I'll be back before you know it!” Rin reassured his younger brother. “Say hi to the old man and Yukio for me! Give Kuro a scratch under the chin for me too! I gotta go take a shower now! Bye!”

_ “BYE RIN!! BYE RIN'S FRIEND!!” _ Usamaro yelled through the phone again.

Rin hung up the phone and turned it off. Ryuuji left the towel on his head. “Sounds like he misses you,” he says.

“Yeah, more like he misses my cooking, I honestly spoil him too much,” the shorter teen said, grabbing his towel.

Ryuuji took the towel off and shook his head, water flying everywhere.

“Hey!” Rin yelled, raising his arms in defense.

“Just a warning, the shower's shitty,” he said.

  
  


* * *

  
  


“We're staying in Kyoto tonight,” Ryuuji said when they both woke up properly they next morning at 9. “I know what inn we're staying in, it's the one my mom used to own and it's someone's from my old temple now, but I haven't reserved a room yet. I gotta check.”

It's way too hot in the room, the AC doesn't work. Ryuuji's the same as last night, wearing a pair of gym shorts ad still not wearing a shirt, Rin's just wearing a sports bra and shorts. They're both sweaty and have no way to fan themselves, the ceiling fan is broken.

Ryuuji was getting used to ignoring the feeling in his chest and the warmness in his face with Rin around, since it's been three days. But it's not really working right now and he can’t tell if it’s the warmth or himself.

“Please tell me the AC in your car still works,” Rin said, shoving a hand into his hair.

“Pretty sure it does,” he replied. “We'll call the inn while we get that fresh, fresh air…”

  
  


* * *

  
  


“Uh,” Rin mumbled with the phone over his ear. “One bed? Give me a second.”

Ryuuji quickly glanced at him while he drove. “What?”

“The only room they have has a queen bed,” he said, putting his other hand over the phone a little. “They ran out of futons and tatami floor rooms.”

“Uh,” Ryuuji said, his grip on the steering wheel tightening. “Is it really the last room they have?”

“The only other one is a twin bed.”

Ryuuji took a deep breath. “Okay,” he said. “Okay. That's fine. We can take the queen bed.”

“Alright,” Rin said and went back to the call. “We'll take the room with the queen bed. Okay. Ye- ...Yeah we can pay when we get there. Okay, thank you,” he finished and hung up.

They stayed quiet after that, and there was a very obvious  _ something _ in the air that the both of them were ignoring.

“I'm gonna take a nap,” Rin said.

“Okay,” Ryuuji said.

  
  


* * *

  
  


“Hey, wake up,” Ryuuji said quietly, slightly shaking Rin after he parked the car.

“Hmh- What time is it…?” Rin mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

“It's 6:12. C'mon, I wanna show you something before we go to the inn,” he whispered.

When Rin got out of the car, they seemed to be in a park. “Huuh…?” He grumbled.

Ryuuji led him to a playground in the middle of some trees and they sat on the small swingset that was very clearly meant for small children.

“Sandwich?” Ryuuji said, reaching into the bento he’d brought from the car. Rin muttered a ‘thanks’ and took it.

Ryuuji grabbed a sandwich and both of them muttered ‘Itadakimasu’ and began eating.

“You know,” Ryuuji said after swallowing his first bite. “I have a lot of memories in this park.”

“You do?” Rin asked mid-chew.

“Yeah,” he said. “This is the park where I came out as trans to Shima and Konekomaru.”

“Oh, I think you told me about that,” Rin pointed out, and swallowed his food.

“Mhm, we were sitting up there,” he said and pointed up at the playground, towards where a child would stand when they were about to go down the slide. “I had told them that I was never a girl, that my deadname wasn’t my name, that my name was Ryuuji. Everyone at the temple started calling me that along with Bon, a nickname I’ve had since I was really little.”

“Oh, yeah, isn’t it short for Bocchan?”

“Yeah…”

Golden hour calmed them down. Like the morning a month before when they’d found each other at 4am, it was quiet, kind of in a déjà vu way. There was no people despite it being halfway through six in the afternoon in July, and the only sounds came from the cicadas buzzing from the trees and the squirrels rustling in the grass, looking for food. Rin grabbed a piece of bread from his sandwich and threw it over at a squirrel that was a few feet away from the swingset.

“I remember I came out to my brother and the old man in the middle of my last year of junior high,” Rin said. “Both of them took it really well. The old man  _ immediately _ insisted we went to the store to go buy me some mens clothes.” He snickered and swung his feet back and forth.

Ryuuji made a little ‘mm’ noise and took another bite of his sandwich. He really didn’t know where this came from, he never showed such a vulnerable side of himself to anyone and it was a little embarrassing to do so. There was a somewhat comfortable silence now, but  _ something _ lingered in the air like it did a few hours prior. They both finished their sandwiches before saying anything again.

“Oh, hey, uh, how’s it going with you and that- that crush of yours?” Rin asked hesitatingly, not completely prying.

Ryuuji blushed. “Um. I- There’s a- there hasn’t been any improvement with that…” He said, glancing away. He started rubbing his hand at the shaved hair on the back of his head. “How are things with you and- and Moriyama-?”

He regretted it as soon as he said it.

Rin blinked. “I-  _ Shiemi? _ I don’t have a- a crush on  _ Shiemi!  _ I mean, she’s nice and all, but I don’t like her like  _ that,” _ He was a stuttering mess, waving his arms and shaking his head, his face a little red. “And I’m pretty sure she’s dating Izumo!”

“Wait, are you- are you serious? This whole time, it  _ hasn’t  _ been Moriyama that you’ve been talking about?” Ryuuji asked, his eyes widening. There was heat going up his face again.

“No,” Rin said. His legs had stopped swinging.

“Oh,” Ryuuji said, running a hand through his hair and using the other to hold onto the chain of the swing. He pursed his lips.  _ Then who the hell could it be? _

“It’s-”

“I-”

They’d spoken at the same time. “Um- you talk first,” Rin said.

“Uh,” Ryuuji said. He took a deep breath. He was really about to do this, although impulsively.

“I like  _ you,  _ Rin.”

Rin’s eyes widened and his mouth opened as if he gasped, but there was no sound. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Ryuuji said with a nervous laugh. He’s shaking and completely looking away now. “What were you gonna say…?”

“Well, I was... gonna say that it’s  _ you,  _ Ryuuji. It’s always been you, I-” he inhaled, “I like you too.”

Ryuuji turned back towards Rin this time, accidentally a little too  _ close. _ He stared into his eyes, those sapphire eyes that reminded him of an ocean and that he’d stare at all  _ day _ and get lost in if he could. Rin’s staring back, and Ryuuji does the thing he thinks is a mistake and glances at Rin’s lips, and it’s like Rin  _ understands  _ because he reaches and cups Ryuuji’s face and pulls him into a kiss.

Ryuuji only hesitates for a moment, he finds himself closing his eyes and putting his hands on Rin’s shoulders, which made him move closer and deepened the kiss in such a way that made Ryuuji’s heart catch on  _ fire. _ They relax against each other’s mouths, and it’s messy, both of their lips are chapped, neither of them have experience with this and it’s a little embarrassing, but who has the time to think about that when  _ Rin is kissing Ryuuji and Ryuuji’s kissing back? _

And  _ oh,  _ for their first kiss it’s not bad.

They pull away and stare into each other’s eyes, only for a moment. Rin licked his lips and knowingly, Ryuuji pulled him back in for another kiss.

It being planned, it’s a bit smoother this time. Rin wraps his arms around Ryuuji’s neck and Ryuuji puts his hands on Rin’s back, bringing them a  _ little _ bit closer and it’s like a million fireworks popped off at the same time. They stay there, not knowing for how long, as if they were the only people in the world.

Was every kiss going to be like  _ this? _

They pulled away again, but not too far, their noses were almost touching. The small bento box from earlier had fallen from Ryuuji’s lap and onto the ground.  _ When did that happen? _

“I… really,  _ really _ like you,” Ryuuji said with a big grin and a very uncharacteristic soft giggle.

“I know,” Rin replies, with a very similar expression. “And I like you too.”

Ryuuji takes a deep breath but it gets interrupted by a small laugh. “I know.”

 

 

* * *

  
  


They didn’t talk about it that night, but it was  _ there. _

When they went to sleep, they were back-to-back at first. But it kept lingering in both of their minds, and they couldn’t sleep.

“Rin,” Ryuuji whispered, “you awake?”

“Yeah,” Rin whispered back.

“Can I…” Ryuuji said, but stopped, trying to find the words. “Can I turn around?”

“Yeah,” Rin said, and he  _ knew. _

Both of them shifted around the bed and turned around, and  _ immediately,  _ Rin wrapped his arms around Ryuuji’s neck again, similarly to how he did during their second kiss, and  _ immediately, _ Ryuuji wrapped his arms around Rin’s waist like he did during their second kiss, too, and they tangle their legs together.

Without any other words, they fell asleep like that, with the immediate comfort and  _ knowing. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy belated new year ! chapter 6 will be up next friday as usual :]


	6. punks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So,” the younger teen said, running a hand through his hair, blushing and smiling softly, “it’s a date.”
> 
> “That’s what you’re making it?” the older asked.
> 
> “Yeah.”
> 
> “I’m okay with that.”

If it weren't for the small breathing against the back of his neck and the pressure on the back of his body and around his waist, Ryuuji would've woken up and thought that last night was a dream. He closed his eyes and relaxed for a moment until he realized something.

_ Wait, pressure on my back? _

_... _

_ Am I the fucking little spoon? _

Granted to his thought, he was. And  _ no, _ he  _ definitely _ didn’t indulge into it for a second before grabbing his phone from the bedside table and seeing that it was almost 10am. As much as he wanted to stay in the current position, he had to get up because he had a plan for today.

Ryuuji slowly pulled Rin’s arms off his waist and missed the warmth of the feeling right away, but continued anyways. He was surprised he was able to get up without Rin pulling him back into the cuddle. He sat up, and couldn’t help but appreciate Rin’s soft, sleeping face for a moment.

He shook Rin slightly again to wake him up and he mumbled ‘five more minutes…’ in his mostly-asleep state. Ryuuji smiled, scoffed and rolled his eyes and shook him again and he started waking up this time.

“Wake up, Riin, we’re going to Kyoto Tower todaay,” Ryuuji sing-sung in a whisper.

“Kyoto Tower…?” Rin asked, still half asleep. He shot awake and sat up from the bed. “Kyoto Tower! We’re going to Kyoto Tower?! Oh, I bet you’ve been there so many times since you grew up here, right?!”

“Wha- I-” Ryuuji said in surprise. He pursed his lips. “I haven’t been to Kyoto Tower a single time in my life!”

Rin blinked. “You haven’t?”

“No, it’s embarrassing! I lived here my whole life up until now and I’ve never gone there! How are you so interested in it when there’s so many other tourist spots?!”

“You’re the one who brought it up, though! And I’m more into the trendy spots than the shrines…”

Ryuuji started laughing nervously. “I’d said it as a joke at first to wake you up, but… fine. To hell with it.” He put a hand up to his face to hide a smile, widening his middle and index fingers apart so his eye was visible. “Since I like you so much.”

“So,” the younger teen said, running a hand through his hair, blushing and smiling softly, “it’s a date.”

“That’s what you’re making it?” the older asked.

“Yeah.”

“I’m okay with that.”

 

 

* * *

  
  


Visiting Kyoto Tower was fun.

They’d honestly gotten stuck into the tourist trap for hours, doing things as simple as eating and laughing together (familiarly). But it meant so much  _ more _ this time.

“Oi…  _ Ryuuji,” _ Rin said when they walked back to the car at around 7pm, emphasizing his name. “Can we go to that hardware store real quick?”

“Alright,  _ Rin,” _ Ryuuji replied. “What are you doing, though…?”

“You’ll see.”

When they’d gotten to the hardware store, Rin went ‘stay here, I’ll be back quick’ and ran into the store for a few minutes, and when he came back he hid what he’d bought in the bag.

“Let’s go to the outskirts now, I’ll tell you when you can stop,” Rin said, being secretive. Ryuuji was curious and confused, but didn’t ask any questions, although he was getting an idea.

It took them around fifteen minutes to reach the edge of the town and in an area with run-down buildings, the raven said ‘stop here, c’mon,’ grabbed the bag and got out of the car. He led Ryuuji into an alley and Ryuuji really didn’t know what he expected when Rin took the item out of the bag.

“You bought  _ spray paint?” _

“Yup!” Rin said excitedly, shaking the bottle and opening it up. What he wrote on the wall took him around a minute.

 

**_パンク、ロック、トランス、ゲイ_ **

 

**_‘PUNK, ROCK, TRANS, GAY’_ **

 

“Oh my  _ god,” _ Ryuuji gaped excitedly, eyes wide.

Rin took the camera from around his neck and set the ten-second timer on it and grabbed Ryuuji's arm, pulling him towards the wall. “Smile, Ryuuji!”

Ryuuji didn't have to when he was already smiling like an absolute idiot.

Ryuuji squatted, stuck out his tongue and raised his middle fingers for the picture. Rin stuck his tongue out too, squatted one leg and extended the other, and put one hand into his pocket and the other raised a peace sign sideways over his eye that he squinted closed.

_ “Ryuuji,” _ he said once the picture was taken. He grabbed the camera and put it around his neck again, and held both of Ryuuji's hands. “I don't know about you, but this is the best date I've ever been on.” His face was dusting with pink.

“Well, this is the  _ only  _ date I've ever been on, so I can definitely say the same,” Ryuuji chuckled and rubbed small circles on Rin's hand with his thumb. “Which is why I want to be your boyfriend,” he said, a little bit softer.

“So do I,” Rin said breathlessly.

Ryuuji’s heart raced— and honestly, when wasn’t it nowadays— when Rin closed the gap between them, and Ryuuji didn’t hesitate to let go of one of Rin’s hands to cup his cheek. Rin let go of Ryuuji’s other hand and arms creeped up and around his neck, his fingers rubbing over the shaved hair on the nape of the older teen’s neck and it made him  _ ecstatic.  _ Ryuuji’s hands settled from Rin’s cheeks to his back and it brought them  _ closer. _ And  _ god, _ if Ryuuji opened his eyes he was sure they would’ve been heart-shaped.

As much as they hated to, they separated from the other’s lips to be able to breathe, but their arms didn’t move from where they were. The sun was setting as they looked into each other’s eyes with a comfortable silence, the sound of cicadas buzzing and occasional cars passing by ever-so-present in the mid-July afternoon, almost forgetting they were in the middle of an alley which one building they’d just vandalized.

“As much fun as I’ve had I think we should start to get going,” Ryuuji confessed.

“Yeah, we probably should…” Rin replied, looking to the side, faking mischievousness with an innocent smile.

Ryuuji rolled his eyes, knowing what Rin wanted to do and pressed a kiss onto Rin’s cheek before he could to him and quickly separated from their position and ran back to the car.

_ “RYUUJI!” _

Rin wasn’t even mad, he was just so  _ flustered _ and he laughed as he chased Ryuuji, who was also laughing, back to the car.

When they got in the car, Rin took out his phone and snapped a picture of Ryuuji.

“I thought you brought the camera to save space on your phone?” Ryuuji said curiously, starting the car.

“I would fill my entire phone with pictures of you if I could,” Rin flirted, not looking up from his phone.

Ryuuji hit his head against the headrest and covered his face. “Is that a thing now? Are you gonna flirt like that forever?“ he said into his hands, peeking at Rin from in between his fingers.

“Yep!”

“You fucking nerd.”   
“I’m your nerd,  _ Ryuuji,” _ Rin said, closing his eyes and grinning.

Ryuuji scoffed and smiled softly. “Yeah. You are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me? rewriting The One Scene in the kyoto arc to make it gayer? its more likely than you think  
> this is. the most self indulgent chapter so far.   
> also i hope i translated that phrase right. im sure i did though i know how to read most hiragana
> 
> this fic is almost at its end but worry not ! i have a lot of lore. ill share that next week though ;)
> 
> chapter 7 will be up next friday as usual !


	7. homes

It was funny that Rin and Ryuuji started dating five days into their road trip with nine days left. 

But those nine days passed faster than they thought they would.

Their routine was mostly the same for the entire road trip; wake up in the morning and eat breakfast, leave wherever they were staying at, drive for a few hours, have a few pit stops, eat lunch, maybe get caught in tourist traps they would find, probably drive some more, find somewhere to stay for the night, eat dinner, probably take a shower, go to sleep.

But now there were a few things that were different from the first five days of the trip.

Sometimes they would stay in rooms with one bed. They would find themselves sharing kisses  _ all the time. _ Whether it was a quick, chaste one on the cheek, a soft, loving one on the lips, and anything in between; they were there. After waking up, at a gas station, during lunch, at a stoplight, while at a tourist area, before bed. They started holding hands. The cheesy nicknames that started. It was honestly  _ so easy _ to talk about things, it was just the two of them on a road trip that took up two of their six weeks of summer vacation. 

And  _ god,  _ were they in love.

 

 

* * *

  
  


They spent their last day of the road trip at a beach. They didn’t actually do much besides going into the water a few times and people-watching under their sunglasses. The two stayed there for a few hours until the sun had set.

“Man, I don’t really wanna go back home. I’ve been having so much fun and the road trip’s already over?” Rin said, taking his sunglasses off. 

“Hey, don’t worry, babe, there’s still around a month of vacation left, remember?” Ryuuji responded.

Like many times before, the sunset calmed the pair. It being whilst they were sitting on the beach calmed them even more, somehow. Ryuuji still had his sunglasses on despite the sun saying goodbye for the day, and he looked over at Rin from under his shades, who was enjoying the view of the sky and its shades of pink and orange over the horizon of the beach.

And like other many times before, the feeling found itself in Ryuuji’s chest again. It was like if rosebuds blossomed in his chest and stayed there and grew there like they belonged.

So maybe they did.

It’d only been a week and two days since they started dating and Ryuuji still couldn’t  _ believe  _ how he got here. After procrastinating on confessing to Rin, the cute guy he met at school who works at the local cafe, for so  _ long, _ he’d  _ finally done it.  _ And he couldn't have asked for a better result.

Sure, neither of them were ready for a total complete “I love you” yet. But, yeah, they were ready for they day they would be.

Ryuuji practically threw his glasses off and grabbed Rin’s chin and pulled him in for a kiss, and Rin grabbed his opposite shoulder in turn and smiled against his lips, which made Ryuuji’s heart  _ flutter  _ just like every kiss he’d had with Rin in the past nine days had.

“Dating you was the best decision I’ve ever made,” Rin said against Ryuuji’s lips when they pulled apart only slightly.

“You beat me to saying it,” Ryuuji replied.

Afterwards, they watched the sun set and when the stars came out, they got up and went to the car, deciding they’d drive home for the night.

They might not have rolled down the windows and let the wind hit their faces like they’d done before, but nevertheless jammed to the same song they’d bonded over for months.

 

_ Take a little time out _

_ Darling, have you had enough? _

_ Well, call it what you want _

_ But you go, and you go, and you go, and you go _

 

_ Heart eyes _

_ Heart eyes _

_ Come home tonight _

_ Come home tonight _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! this fic has come to an end and im so happy at the amount of love it's gotten! writing a roadtrip-esque fic has been something ive wanted to do for around 2 years now and im so glad i finally found a vessel to do it with :')  
> i have a few things to say, too!
> 
> \- this fic has a playlist, it's called blueberry marshmallows and it's on [spotify](https://open.spotify.com/user/daniamalec/playlist/1wP6u9MkzCNMuv1ofoZEf0?si=58WIfruJQEmvR2uaOCEOsA) and [youtube](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLMjqOuIDgQKTdfw2PtSxeGx98aQ3M8aE5)! see the [official tumblr post for it](https://indiepunks.tumblr.com/post/182121388645/blueberry-marshmallows-a-bonrin-playlist-for-my) with my commentary on the songs :)  
> \- the tag [#086](https://indiepunks.tumblr.com/tagged/086) on my tumblr blog is a tag ive been using to put aesthetic that reminds me of this fic! the pictures could be something they saw, maybe a view from a hotel they stayed at, maybe rin took the picture. thats up for interpretation!  
> \- this is definitely not going to be the only fic that takes place in this au ;) i have a few other things planned out, and a lot more things that i dont even think i could write into a fic that are just lore. ill probably post that on tumblr hjsghgdf
> 
> again! thanks to everyone whos read this fic for all the love! i put my heart and soul into this fic and hell, i might even do a rewrite someday when i get better at writing. i love bon and rin that much alright
> 
> thanks for reading !

**Author's Note:**

> hey!
> 
> as of 1/18/19, heart eyes is a finished fic that takes place in a modern high school AU. im really happy about all the love its gotten !
> 
> my tumblr is [sugurobonryuuji](https://sugurobonryuuji.tumblr.com/)!


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